Juliet Rice (Staniland)
Juliet Rice (née Staniland)
The things my mother said and did to me during my childhood were unforgivable. As a very young and vulnerable child, I was subjected to conduct that caused significant emotional and physical harm. This included sustained verbal abuse, being struck across the face with belts, and constant threats of abandonment.
Anything I may have said about her, either before or after her death, pales in comparison to what I endured and the lasting damage to my wellbeing. Recovery has taken many years, and the impact on my life has been profound and enduring.
As a young adult, my mother once admitted to me that she knew she had been a terrible mother. I should have taken that opportunity to speak openly, but by then I had long learned that any criticism of her—even when invited—was unsafe. She later justified her behaviour by stating that she “had to be like that,” otherwise her children would have “run her over.”
The records I have documented on hardjubes.org constitute my family record. They are intended to stand into the foreseeable future so that she is remembered accurately, rather than through a sanitised or performative narrative. While this record cannot deliver justice, it stands as a testament that her behaviour will not pass entirely without acknowledgment.
I find it deeply offensive that some of my siblings have attempted to portray her as an upstanding individual deserving of admiration and favourable remembrance. In my view, their defence of her serves primarily to protect their own self-image and to avoid confronting the harm caused by her actions. That harm cannot be resolved—or even honestly faced—without acceptance of the truth. Avoidance may be sustained for a time through work and distraction, but it does not remove the underlying damage.
Her grandchildren did not experience her behaviour firsthand. They have no direct understanding of the harm she inflicted and therefore no basis on which to challenge the accuracy of my records or the validity of my memories. What they received was a sanitised version of her character, maintained for the sake of peace, appearance, and family performance.
David Rice
RICE MUSINGS 